That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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