first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize