um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
