I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
