I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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