1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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