we have officially lost it.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
one might say we're banned from that church
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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