Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
