Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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