Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
