I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
