I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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