Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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