I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
