I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
