I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
