Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
