I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
