Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
