Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
