i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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