idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
