wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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