PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize