I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
