Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
