so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
