Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
