he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
