He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
