we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
