I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
