I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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