does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
