some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
