dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
