Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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