My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize