nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
