Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
