I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
