Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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