Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
