kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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