Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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