I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
