I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Even my vagina gasped.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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