That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
