K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
