I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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