Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
