the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
