From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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