After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize