Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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