He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
