I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
