I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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