just come out here and I will go home with you...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
