You're my little dorito
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
