the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize