just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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