i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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