But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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