I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
