he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
